They herald from all different walks of life; from every corner of this spaceship we call Planet Earth. They make you look bad in front of your parents at the company picnic. They try to talk you in to buying a used Daewoo at the Ford dealership. And nine times out of ten they – succeed?
That’s right.
Those slick, fake smiling people you love to hate – those brown nosers – actually do make it in life and work!
Now, I’m not advocating that you become a brown noser, per se, but I am suggesting that you take on some of the better qualities that the brown noser has to offer.
Let’s go to the encyclopedia archives:
Entry 1: The Coat-tailer
This is one of the most common species of brown noser in the workplace. Like their evolutionary relatives, the remora fish, they sucker on to a larger, more powerful host and survive off their leftovers.
In the office, this guy is always seen with the boss, constantly agreeing with her, joining her in meetings and bringing her coffee – like every day. He will do well for himself under her protection. He gets to work on the cool projects that she brings in and gets to meet her higher-level contacts due to his consistent close proximity to her.
Nose depth: 1.5 centimeters
What you can learn from the coat-tailer
Don’t be afraid to approach your boss and strike up a conversation. Just know your limits. You don’t actually want to become a coat-tailer – you just want some of the benefits.
Instead of insinuating yourself into meetings with your boss and her team, show interest in the project and ask to be included, even offer to make a coffee run for the attendees beforehand. Strive to make yourself a fixture in your boss’ informal cabinet but don’t appear needy or clingy. This will go a long way to endearing yourself to an important person in your organization and give you a leg up in experience and responsibility if you play it right.
Entry 2: The Yes Man
“Great Idea Mike! Wow! You really hit that one right on the button – as usual! You always know just the right direction to take a new project. If only I was that good. Is there any way I can help ya with it? I mean, I would just love to work with you!”
Enough said.
Nose depth: 2 centimeters
What you can learn from the Yes Man
The Yes Man in our quote above said one thing right: “is there any way I can help ya with the project?”
As you have capacity at work, and your direct supervisor allows it, you should look for opportunities in your organization, even outside your department, to collaborate and learn from others.
One of the best ways to do this is to simply volunteer yourself. Now, the only way for this to work is to have a supervisor who doesn’t feel threatened by this and will allow you to do it. If they aren’t, and you volunteer yourself to another senior person, you will be smack in the middle of some nasty inter-organizational politics and likely have your wings clipped by your immediate boss who now distrusts you.
But if you can make it happen, ask around and see if you can work with others to expand your skill set and responsibility.
Case 3: The used car salesman
zOMG who likes this guy? Who? Tell me!
Honestly? Not many. No one can really stand these particular ‘nosers. That is why they run in packs together and tolerate each others personalities’ so theirs in turn will be tolerated.
Look out for their unique popped collars and colorful pink polo shirts. Smell the Axe hair gel? That’s them.
These are the least successful yet most oblivious brown nosers known to the encyclopedia.
They can go on for hours, shiny smile plastered on their face, and sell, sell, sell whatever the hell they are trying to get out the door and into your living room while at the same time not realizing you want to kill yourself.
Nose depth: All in, baby. Like a bad poker bet.
What you can learn from the used car salesman
Sell something that actually benefits you and your organization: yourself. It sounds cheesy but its true and you can do it without using Axe hair products. I’ve heard someone even do it while using Selsun Blue. But I digress.
Tactfully and at the appropriate points in a meeting or conversation say something like: “Oh, you know? I have some experience in that field. I would love to talk more about and here your ideas.”
Snap!
You just dropped an expertise that was unknown to your colleague AND offered to use it on a project. This will come off as helpful rather than an out-of-the-blue brag about your skills.
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